The Talk
by ForThoseWhoLikeToMoveItMoveIt
Summary: Phineas and Ferb have a little chat with Dr D one day. A three-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: I know, I know! I** _**should **_**be writing "The Meeting" but I cant think of anything and I AM BORED so **_**there **_**:P**

Doofenschmirtz waited patiently next to his inator, he was waiting for his nemesis Perry the Platypus to arrive for their daily battle. He was getting worried about the semi- aquatic mammal, he was late.

Just then he heard a knock at the door.

"Oh, Finally!"

He went to answer it.

"There you are Perry the Plat-"

He stopped mid-sentence when he saw who was at the door, it was Perry the Platypus's owners, those two boys.

"Oh hey boys"

The boys just stared angrily at him.

"Uh, what are you guys doing here? Have you boys seen Perry the Platypus anywhere? Because he's late and-"

"We need to talk to you"

"Um okay?"

"Sit down" Phineas commanded, pointing to a wooden chair in the middle of the room.

"Okay…" Doof said as he sat down.

"Ferb, lock the door"

Ferb did as he was told.

Doof gulped.

"Uh…what exactly is this about?"

"We need to talk"

"About?"

"Perry"

"What about Perry?"

"Look, we've had Perry for a while now…and Me and Ferb here love him _very _much, do _you _love anyone _very _much? _Doctor_?"

"Well theres my daught-"

"And if anything ever happened to Perry me and Ferb would be _very _upset, do you understand?"

"I'm not following you"

"Ok let me put it like this, if someone were to ever _hurt _Perry, me and Ferb would have to _hurt _that person" Phineas said, leaning over Doof threateningly.

"And when we _hurt _that _person_ it wont end well for that _person_ and that _person _will be _very _sorry, that _person _will be lucky to get out _alive_, isn't that right Ferb?"

Ferb cracked his knuckles threateningly.

Doof had never been so afraid of a couple of kids before, in his life, he was trembling.

Phineas grabbed him by the collar of his labcoat.

"I guess what we're trying to say here is…**DON'T. HURT. OUR. PLATYPUS….**_Understand_?"

Doof nodded frantically.

"Good"

Phineas let go of his labcoat.

Just then Perry kicked down the door, he was shocked by what he saw, Phineas and Ferb standing next to Doof who was sitting on a wooden chair…trembling…what the heck is going on here?

"Oh hey Perry, we were just talking to Dr. D here"

Phineas pat Doof on the back, Doofs eye was twitching.

"Well we'll leave you guys to battle, c'mon Ferb, later Perry…_Doof_"

They left the apartment.

Perry walked up to Doof who was still trembling and poked him.

Doof fainted and fell off the chair.

Which only left Perry standing there thinking…

_What the heck just happened?_


	2. Chapter 2

Phineas and Ferb waited up for Perry at the door, it was late, the platypus should have been home by now, Phineas look at the clock.

"Perrys late Ferb, he should have been home by now its after dark…do you think Dr D took us seriously the other day?"

Ferb shrugged.

At that moment Perry walked through the doggy door…with a black eye.

"Oh there you are Perry…what happened to your eye?"

Perry chattered.

_Well Doof punched me in the face._

"Did Dr D do that?" Phineas asked.

_Yea, but after it happened he started to freak out and then he started being nice to me and gave me a icepack and started giving me cookies and hot chocolate and let me sit on the couch and watch TV with a blanket, it was weird and he wouldn't even let me leave, he insisted I stay until the mark went away, but I couldn't just stay there for that long and I left._

Perry nodded.

"He did, did he? Hmmm" Phineas said rubbing his chin.

***At the Hospital the next day***

Perry looked at his nemesis wide-eyed.

Doof was lying in a hospital bed with a broken leg and a broken arm and a black eye.

Perry was sitting at the foot.

_How did this happen? _

Doof gulped when he looked behind Perry at Phineas and Ferb standing with their arms crossed and an angry expression plastered across their face.

"I, uh…fell down the stairs"

Perry raised an eyebrow and looked behind him at Phineas and Ferb who just shrugged.

_Okay?_

"C'mon Perry we should leave him to rest, we can come back in the morning" Phineas said.

The platypus nodded and gave a wave goodbye to his nemesis before turning to walk out the room.

Phineas and Ferb followed out the door but not before Phineas took his finger and slid his finger across his neck at Doof who visibly flinched.

They walked out and the door closed behind them.

"Aren't those kids a little young to be making death threats?"

A knife whizzed itself past Doof's head and was impaled into the wall.

Doof looked at the door, only to find Phineas and Ferb peeking around the corner.

"No, no we're not" Phineas grinned.

And with that they disappeared out the door way.

Doof sighed, those two boys are good kids, but their pure evil, he liked it,

If only Perry knew…


	3. Chapter 3: What happened in between

**Authors Note: I NEVER said I was gonna continue this story, it was SUPPOSED to be a two-shot, but FINE this will probably be the last chapter because this is pretty much what happened last chapter when Doof punched Perry in the face and was freaking out about it, I figured I'd show you what happened because all you got was Perry explaining what happened, sooooooo**

**REVIEWS: **

**Chapter 1 Reviews:**

**BroadwayFanGirl91: Kudos to you too! (whatever that means O.o)**

**t.: Glad u liked it **

**FrostShadowStar: Your rambling just like Doof O.o ….Good job.**

**PhoenixWormwood137: Glad u liked it, they know because this is centered around if the boys remembered…I should have put that in the authors note, my bad.**

**Gwen: Glad u liked it.**

**RosyInkLiv54: GLAD U LOVED IT **

**Brooke: No, no its not.**

**Loonaticslover13: Oh yeah they can totally beat Doof up…and they did.**

** Fletcher-inator: Doof has every right to be afraid, those kids built a rollercoaster, id be scared of them too O.o**

**MidnightMoonshyne: yep, im afraid of Ferb, he doesn't talk much but who KNOWS what he's hiding O.o**

**Galaxina-the-Seedrian: Ferb scares me O.o and this is centered around if the boys remembered, again, I should have put it in the authors note, my bad. And I'll change the Genre, jeez bossy pants, naw jk jk your cool xD **

**AwesomeFic: Yes, yes they are, and is that ur username or are you just complementing my story ;D**

**Chapter 2 Reviews: **

**Galaxina-the-Seedrian: Doof is as evil as a box of pancakes…with syrup O.o**

**RosyInkLiv54: I assume you think its funny.**

**AlphaBetaSoup: it was SUPPOSED to be a two-shot…glad u liked it.**

**blacklabpuppy: I blame YOU for this chapter (lol)**

**ON WITH IT!**

**Can you catch the reference? :D**

Chapter 3:

(THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED LAST CHAPTER WHEN PERRY GOT PUNCHED IN THE FACE)

It was a regular day in Danville, Doof and Perry were having their daily battle as usual.

Perry had escaped his trap and had tackled Doof to the ground and they were now fighting.

Perry was standing on Doofs stomach and Doof was on his back and they were wrestling with eachother.

"Ow! Get off Perry the Platypus!"

The platypus continued to fight him.

"I said get off!"

The platypus continued.

"GET OFF!"

And with that, Doof punched Perry in the face and the platypus flew backwards and landed on its back.

Doof gasped.

The platypus sat up, holding his face with his hand.

"P-Perry the Platypus im so sorry! I didn't mean to- I mean, you wouldn't get off and I…." Doof trailed off.

_Aw man, those boys are gonna kill me, wait…Perry the Platypus cant talk…he cant tell them anything, they'll never know…its not like theres a mark or anything…_

Perry removed his hand from his face and Doof's heart skipped a beat at what he saw…a black eye…

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH" Doof screamed as he ran at the platypus.

Perry's went wide as he saw Doof running at him, he thought Doof was gonna tackle him but to his surprise, Doof picked him up and sat him on the couch.

"STAY THERE!"

Doof ran out the room and came back with a blanket and a pillow he put the pillow under the platypuses head and pushed him down so that he was lying down and took the blanket and tucked the platypus in, the platypus struggled to get up but his nemesis pushed him back down.

"STAY!"

The doctor ran out the room and came back with an icepack and gave it to the platypus, who raised his eyebrow and hastily reached out and took it and placed it to his eye.

_Um, thank you?_

He gave the platypus the TV remote.

"Now you stay there and don't move, try and relax, and watch some TV, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me"

The doctor walked out of the room and came back 10 minutes later with a batch of warm chocolate chip cookies and a mug of hot chocolate and sat them on the platypuses lap.

The platypus raised an eyebrow.

_Why are you doing all this? Its just a black eye, its not like I'm dying._

"I'm just trying to be ni-" The doctors right eye twitched as he struggled to say the word.

"Ni-" The doctor slapped himself in the face.

"Nice" The doctor said with a grin, his eye twitching uncontrollably.

The platypus raised an eyebrow.

_Why are you being so nice to me? Your freaking me out…_

"Want be to massage your feet?"

The doctor grabbed the platypuses foot and began rubbing it.

The platypus was now starting to feel rather uncomfortable, he pulled his foot away.

_Maybe I should go home…and come back when your NOT crazy._

The platypus got up and turned to leave, when the doctor grabbed onto his wrist.

"Where are you going? Please stay!"

The platypus just stared at him.

"Please! I'll do anything! Just don't go! My life depends on it!"

_Your life? What the-_

The doctor picked up the Platypus and placed him back on the couch, Perry tried to break out of Doofs grip but he ended up back on the couch in the same position he was 5 minutes ago, tucked in, with a plate of cookies on his lap and hot chocolate.

_Your life depends on me sitting on a couch eating cookies and drinking hot chocolate? _

The platypus shrugged his shoulders and picked up a cookie.

_Your life must suck then._

The platypus started eating the cookies.

"Good, now you just lie there and get comfortable, and watch some TV"

_Are you on drugs?_

"Here let me fluff your pillow"

_Fine, but just remember that oregano's bad for you, all im sayin._

"Are you comfortable?"

_Im not in the mood for cookies, im gonna go look through your kitchen cabinet, if you don't mind._

The platypus got up and went to the kitchen and opened the cabinets and looked through them.

_Hmm lets see, Oreos, naw, Reeses, naw, Kit Kats, oh look oregano._

"What are you looking for?"

_Oh boy! Sea nut brittle!_

The platypus opened the jar and a bunch of rubber snakes flew out.

The platypus looked at the doctor furiously.

_DREAM CRUSHER!_

"Whoops, that's my novelty fake Sea Nut Brittle can…I don't know how that got in the cabinet…"

_Im leaving!_

The platypus stormed out of the kitchen.

"Perry the Platypus! Where are you going?"

_First you punch me in the face and give me a black eye and THEN you give me fake hopes of Sea Nut Brittle! What kind of MONSTER are you? I cant even look at you! That's it, Perry the Platypus is out, PEACE!_

The platypus held up a peace sign and then stormed out the door.

"Wait! You cant leave until your eye gets better-"

The door slammed.

"Oh no…those kids are sure to come after me…I…I gotta hide! IM TOO OLD TO DIE!"

The doctor then ran to find some wood planks and nails and nailed all the doors and windows shut.

But that didn't stop the boys later on when Ferb broke down the door with a blowtorch and a jar of mayonnaise…

I don't even know how that works...

I told you Ferb scares me…


End file.
